CHICAGO -- Watching the Chicago Bulls and the Miami Heat on Thursday night, you were reminded of what fond, sympathetic soccer parents often say after viewing an under-8 game: "Well, they tried hard."
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Alonzo Mourning can't bear to watch the Heat's dreadful shooting performance.
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And on that same topic, soccer is no longer the only game in which there might not be enough scoring for American tastes. See, when James Naismith put up the peach baskets, he had the notion that the basketball would frequently go through the baskets.
Not this time, Jim.
The Bulls defeated the Heat 75-68 in the United Center. The 24,544 fans could have seen about as much scoring if they had gone to Wrigley Field when the wind was blowing out.
The result came as no surprise. The score came as a surprise. After awhile, anytime there was a score was also a surprise. The Bulls shot 35.9 percent. The Heat shot 33.8 percent. The people who bet the "over" on the over-under probably line shot themselves.
This is the National Basketball Association. These are the Eastern Conference finals. You could fairly expect that the elemental act of shooting the ball would be mastered at this level. The party line will be that this was "a defensive struggle."
No. This was just "a struggle."
Defense was played, but there were plenty of open jumpers that missed. There were plenty of open layups that missed. Name a type of open shot. It missed.
"We got a lot of real good looks," Heat coach Pat Riley said. "Good shots. We just didn't make them."
Some of what occurred was unthinkable. Michael Jordan made four of 15 shots. His shots were on the front rim all night. This would normally be the mark of a tired man. In Jordan's case, you were twice surprised, because he appeared to be a tired, mortal man.
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When Michael Jordan misses 11 of his 15 shots, you know it's an ugly night of basketball.
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"They did it without me tonight," Jordan said. "It's lackluster the way we're playing, except on defense."
"People were just out of rhythm," Bulls coach Phil Jackson said in explaining the shooting.
Fine. Let's address the rhythm shortage by playing the next game with five professional drummers on each side.
The theory here is that the Heat succeeded, although in a very limited way. The Heat succeeded in bringing the Bulls down to somewhere near their own level. This Miami team can scratch and claw and push and tug. But it is not, in any accepted sense of the word, anything like an outstanding basketball team.
The lower the score is, the better chance the Heat has. And this game was played at a pace that would make a snail anxious to get going. You shudder to think what the score would have been without the 24-second clock. Still the Heat couldn't win.
This brings you to the question: If you cannot beat the Bulls when Michael Jordan goes 4 for 15, when can you beat them? The correct answer might very well be: Never.
The score, of course, set a record for fewest points in a playoff game. The previous record -- 145 -- had been set by the Fort Wayne Pistons and the Syracuse Nationals in 1955. And the record before that had probably belonged to the Rome Centurions and the Carthage Elephant-Handlers.
The game supposedly has evolved since 1955. Unfortunately, part of the evolution seems to be that relatively few people can shoot anymore.
The Bulls will not have to bounce back from this performance, because, after all, they won. They are up 2-0 in this series even though they can shoot no worse than this. But they will shoot better than this, in part because they have no choice.
The Heat will not bounce back from this performance, at least during this postseason. They will go back to the drawing board, or, more appropriately, to the gym to practice shooting.
Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service.
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